Everything I Needed to Know in Life I Learned from Grand Theft Auto 3

Everything around you is an illusion anyway, so just walk around sometimes and explore.

Appreciate people when you can; they may not be there after you look away.

The police car is always just outside your field of vision.

Never, ever trust the guy played by Joe Pantoliano.

Most people only do whatever is necessary to get around you.

The easier it is to get something, the less fulfilling it is.

SUVs are great for surviving accidents, lousy for preventing them.

Make friends with the guy who has the high explosives.

Get what you want in life done before you piss everybody off.

No matter how big your gun is, there's always somebody else out there with the same one and a friend.

No matter how despicable you act, there are plenty of people out there who won't hold a grudge.

Even if you're just hanging around when a cop gets killed, you can count on getting blamed for it.

Traffic lights are really just suggestions.

Happiness is an RC racer.

Mass transit may run on time, but it never really gets you where you want to be.

You can never find an ice cream truck when you really need one.

You always find something in the last place you look. That's because you get comfortable and stop looking.

No one ever gets out of the car before it fills up with water.

Some days you can solve your problems from all the way on the other side of the block where no one can finger you.

Some days you just have to get in front of the oncoming plane.

Cabs are easy to find, but you have to be assertive if you actually want to get a ride in one.

Money is just a means of getting what you want; it's not that good at keeping score.

The handbrake is your friend.

You never have a baseball bat when you really need one.

Finding the right song on the radio can make all the difference.

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. This truth does you almost no good at all.

A tank in your carport means never having to say you're sorry.

Never count on the pedestrians dodging the right way.

You can be so focused going from one place to the next that you don't even notice what's in the space between.

The most elaborate plan can be ruined by one person in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The most elaborate defenses can be pierced by one person in the right place at the right time.

Promises made to you almost never work out like you expect.

The day can fly right by before you know it.

Living an honest life is hard, but not impossible.

©2003 Grant Davis. All Rights Reserved.